Well weve come here to you today
To discuss the most awesome power in the world!
It is known as the evil fart
But before I talk about the fart Let me say this about that
I would like to say that when you go to discuss atomic energy
First you must ask the person whom you discussing
Do you know about shit?
And the say to you shit? And you say Yes!
What is the difference between Cow-shit
Rabbit-shit Goat-shit or Pig-shit?
They all eat the same grass and it comes out different?
You get Cow-pies -PHTCHTSCH!
You get Rabbit-peddals -PUT-PUT-PUT-PUT
You get Goats! -PHFFFFFFT -And so on
But they all eat the same grass!
And they say -Well I dont know
And then you turn to them and say
You dont know shit and you want to talk about atomic energy!
Anyways about the fart
We have come on this very auspicious occasion
To talk about the most important power in the world
It is the fart!
It comes and it eminates from your behind
And it stinks! -Boy does it stink!
Youre sitting there in a conference room
Knowing very well youve eatin that bowl of chili
And out comes without a sound -A green fog
Slowly filters up higher and higher
Until it burns the very hairs in your nostrills
And people go OOOH! -Who did that?
I didnt! -I didnt! -I didnt -Not me! No!
No one will admit to the power of the fart
If I go out into the cold And my nose begins to run
And if by chance we should meet -My snot will run down to your toes!
Now You happy?
Back to the fart -The fart -Very deadly -Very lethal
Im very surprised that the US Government
Has not taken this as a secret weapon!
Ah-ha! But no one knows that they have!
They have taken the worst Mexican Chili
Feedin it to the highest officials in the world
And they have them sit on jars -And they fart -And they fart!
Till the whole thing is finished!